"I got four good reasons why I cant go back there again."

"Well everyone needs a better day
And I'm trying to find me a better way
To get through the things I do and the things I should."
- Counting Crows, All My Friends

Yesterday I sent an email to one of my staff members and called another. The one I called was my color guard instructor. The call seemed to go very well. I was thinking it almost went too smoothly. Nothing goes that smoothly...

What actually happened was that the instructor that received the email immediately called my guard instructor, even though I specifically asked her not to do this, and told her of my decision. So, she had time to process this news before I called. The thing that bothered me is that this other instructor did what I asked her not to do and the guard instructor then acted like she was hearing it for the first time. I've never been a fan of dishonesty. The positive side of it was that it made my phone call go a lot more smoothly, so all has been forgiven.

In the meantime, I had a very negative exchange of text messages with the other instructor after the phone call. She texted and apologized this morning, saying my email had gotten her in a terrible mood and all out of sorts. Like I said, all is forgiven and I think the three of us will go on being friends of sorts when this is all settled.

My color guard instructor had at first decided to step down along with me, but I was quickly able to talk her into staying on and providing some continuity to the program. She is an extremely intuitive, take charge type, so she is now trying to get things going in the right direction so that the students have a chance once a new director is hired. All in all, she took it much better than I had hoped, while remaining strongly supportive. She told me she would be leaning heavily on me for advice and support and I'm okay with that.

“Character is formed in the stormy billows of the world.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

At this point, I feel much better now that I have given this news to at least the members of my previous staff that I was planning on retaining. As it gets closer to Monday, I worry once again about delivering my letters to my principal. I know nothing of the etiquette of these things. The last time I resigned a position (to accept this one) my principal was out of town and his secretary stamped the documents I needed to excuse me from my contract and allow me to sign a new one. This time, I don't need permission to accept a new contract, as I am leaving the profession. So, I'm not sure what is expected or required of me, having never been in this position before. I am also fearful of what he will tell me, or if he will try to coerce me to stay. I wish I could just mail it in or leave it in his box or something, since that would be much easier. I just look forward to having that behind me and being totally ready and able to move on with my life.

“Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The other day I was awarded a second "Thinking Blogger Award" by Seiche, who writes extremely well himself and has an amazing and extremely thought provoking blog. He's also pretty funny. I recommend his blog for your reading enjoyment. I'm not going to award my 5 recipients yet, as I need time to let my thoughts simmer on this topic. Sometime this weekend, I will distribute these awards once again. Thank you Seiche for your kindness and recognition!

I know that I have been extremely focused on this career change thus far in this blog. I also know that there are more milestones yet to come. Family, my parents and mother-in-law, still must be told. I need to find a job and start looking for opportunities for my writing. So, there will be much more to relate through the medium of this blog concerning my career change, but I have so many other things I want to write about here. The career issues have been so all-consuming and have had such a high priority in my life that they consume much of my thoughts and time. They are the story that has cried out to be told. I've noticed when I start writing each post, that at some point it begins to write itself. Several times I have sat down at the computer with no idea of what I was going to write about, yet the words have just poured out. The story takes on a life of its own.

"You can approach the act of writing with nervousness, excitement, hopefulness, or even despair - the sense that you can never completely put on the page what's in your mind and heart. You can come to the act with your fists clenched and your eyes narrowed, ready to kick ass and take names. You can come to it because you want a girl to marry you or because you want to change the world. Come to it any way but lightly... I'm not asking you to be politically correct or cast aside your sense of humor (please God you have one). This isn't a popularity contest, it's not the moral olympics, and it's not church. But it's writing, damn it..."
- Stephen King, On Writing

Take this as a warning faithful readers: You will begin to see other topics creep through my mind as my career situation changes and resolves (oh, how I pray it does that soon). Some of you may be immensely relieved. I have received comments and emails from some of you thanking me for help on your own journeys through life's changes. Thank you. I'm glad I could help and make a difference in your life. Many of you have certainly helped and made a difference in mine. We have become friends along the way and I certainly hope that continues. In a relatively short amount of time, many of you have become people whose lives I check into everyday. Don't get me wrong, there will still be plenty of changes and upheavals in my life which will find forum here (some that I probably wouldn't imagine would ever happen in my life, much as this career change), but there are other things calling. There are other stories calling out to me. Many of them will find themselves here at some point, I am sure. I look forward to the journey we have ahead of us.

"The only thing that matters
is just following your heart
and eventually you'll finally get it right."
- The Ataris, In This Diary