"Everybody's just waiting to hear from the one who can give them the answers..."

"Seems like I've always been looking for some other place
To get it together
Where with a few of my friends I could give up the race
And maybe find something better."
- Jackson Browne, For Everyman

When I was reading the comments that were left in response to what I wrote yesterday, several of them struck me as being very meaningful, but the thing that really stood out to me was something that Paisley wrote. She was referring to our little community on the net when she wrote:

"We are all trying the best we can to get over the reflections in the mirrors, the aging parents, the changing bodies...none of us totally successfully, but together as a group we can see ourselves in each other all the time." - Paisley

I had written about finding inner strength at this point in life, which seems contradictory because I believe that many see this "mid-life crisis" as a time of weakness. Yet it is strength that we find. I have seen that affirmed again and again. I have read so many stories of personal triumph from so many gifted writers. Yet, it is not only inner strength that we find. We are also finding strength in each other collectively.

Before you object, I want you to know that I have used the term "mid-life crisis" because it seems to be the most universally accepted term for this transitional period. Yet, over the past fifty years I have witnessed so many changes in terminology and classification. As an educator, I know that the terminology associated with "special learners" has changed so drastically and so frequently that it is difficult to keep up with it. So maybe it IS time for a change in terminology. As I've said, it's human nature to label, so... since we're labelling, let's at least choose our own label.

Loz was right when he pointed out that calling it a crisis makes it seem so negative, when in reality it can lead to some very positive changes in our lives. I also agree with Zirelda's point that calling it "mid-life" makes us even more painfully aware that this incredible ride is just about halfway over. Isn't that realization part of the impetus for this stage of life in the first place? If so, then why do we have to hammer the point home by using a label that constantly reminds us of this? I like what A.B. says about being on her "second life" and I also like Micki's suggestion of calling it an awakening. I know that I'm making life more difficult here by increasing keystrokes, but I am making the decision to refer to this transitional phase of life as a "Second-life Awakening" from now on. Or at least until I hear something better.

"Most people die before they are fully born. Creativeness means to be born before one dies." - Erich Fromm

I am finding that at this point in life, we are coming to an awareness of being responsible for ourselves. When we graduated from high school or college, many of us set out to change the world. We wanted to be the person that was going to break free from the pack and make a real difference. I think one of the mistakes we make is thinking that just because we haven't won a Nobel or Pulitzer Prize, we don't have a building or at least a hospital wing named after us, or even an entry in an encyclopedia with our name on it, that we didn't make a difference. If it takes having an encyclopedia entry to make you feel important, then by all means create a Wikipedia entry about yourself.

“I know we're all pretty small in the big scheme of things, and I suppose the most you can hope for is to make some kind of difference, but what kind of difference have I made? What in the world is better because of me?” – Warren Schmidt, About Schmidt

In reality, if we have touched the life of a child, we have made a difference. If we have contributed to streamlining a system or devising a more efficient method for something at work, we have made a difference. If we have truly and deeply loved another human being, we have made a difference. We have all made a difference to the people around us. As Paisley points out, we make a difference to each other every day.

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main." - John Donne

We all affect each other. It's interesting that we have found all this inner strength, but when someone we've never met, who lives a thousand miles away is having a bad day, it affects our day as well. By the same token, when we read about that same person triumphing over some obstacle in their life, we too feel like we can conquer the world. This "universal current" runs through all of us. We are all plugged in, connected to this current. When we are able, we serve as generating stations, contributing to the output of this current. When we need to, we also serve as consumers of this flow. When you go through a period of power consumption, and we all do, don't feel like a burden to the network. Your contributions have helped power this co-operative in the past and will do so again in the future. The supply is not going to be depleted just because you are drawing from it. This supply is limitless. We can consume all we need and not lower the power output by any noticeable amount. It is like trying to consume the ocean through a straw. No matter how much we drink, we have not lowered the water level or held back the tide at all.

I'm happy to be plugged into this phenomenal network. It's not just about emotional support. We draw on each other for creativity, mental stimulation, problem-solving. We all have our unique area of expertise. If I want to know something technical, I would likely ask Bobby Revell. If I am looking for creative inspiration, I might look to Paisley (though there are so many creative types here in this community). Each of us has an area through we which contribute the most to the group. We may contribute in more than one area, but we all give something to the wider community. I always taught in my leadership training seminars that "You can learn something from anyone." I firmly believe this to be true. Nobody should be written off or dismissed. The moment you write someone off is the moment at which you should be prepared for them to change your world.

"We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future." - George Bernard Shaw

Despite this interdependence, or perhaps because of it, we must take responsibility for ourselves. Now that we realize how much our actions affect those around us, we must take responsibility for our own reactions and attitudes. This is indeed a part of our contribution to the power grid. After all, if you are true to yourself, how can you help but be true to others.

"Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one." - Eleanor Roosevelt

If you read the post I wrote a few days ago about being content with who we are, I mentioned the comment that was made by one of my former students and the response that was written by an alumni, Christine. I got the chance to have a conversation with Christine shortly after I wrote that (another example of synchronicity?) and I had the opportunity to thank her for her support. It was a conversation where a great deal was communicated that wasn't actually said, if you know what I mean by that.

“You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say." - Martin Luther

The other day, I received a call on my cell phone from a company whose name I did not recognize. I didn't return the call right away because it sounded like a credit or finance company. Since I didn't recognize the name and have no credit card debt at this point in my life, I waited for a follow-up call. When the second call came, I discovered that it was a company that was sub-contracted to handle verification of employment references. One of my former students had applied for a job and used me as a reference. This student was a wonderful young man and a joy to teach, so I gave him an extremely positive recommendation. I received a message from him yesterday:

"Though I have only known you for a couple years, you have become one of my favorite teachers and though you have left; just know that you have been a major help in my life... Thank you for what you have done for me and the entire band inside and outside of school."
- Antonio

That, my friends, is what it's all about. Without even realizing it, Antonio has contributed to the power grid and amped up the voltage of people that he, or even I, will probably never meet. Welcome to humanity.

“Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe