"Bad news on the doorstep..."

(title quote: Don McLean, American Pie)

"She's dead, Jim." - Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Star Trek (original series, episode: Wolf In the Fold)

Hello again, my determined and faithful readers! When last we met, I was telling you about my automotive woes. It is worse than I originally thought.

"Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself." - Casey Stengel

On Friday, I dropped my car off at the shop because it was losing power. The original thought was that an in-line fuse had blown, either from giving a jump start to my dad's car the day I left the lights on, or from the accident my wife was involved in on 9/11, when she was hit from behind. I learned late Friday afternoon that the alternator was filled with oil that had leaked from the mid-engine seal that I was told was leaking earlier in the summer, when we brought it to the shop for basically the same problem. They could replace the alternator, but didn't expect it to last long, since the new one would soon begin taking oil from the leaking seal. As a result, they wouldn't warranty a new alternator, which would cost more than $500 to replace. They predicted the new one to last 2-3 months before it too stopped working due to the oil leak. The oil leak would cost a minimum of $1000 to repair. The shop advised me earlier in the summer to sell it as soon as possible before something like this happened. I didn't have money to replace it at that time, and could not think of any options to get the money at that time, so we did the best we could and have now reached this point. The car is a total loss. It is only worth a little more than the money it would take to repair it. Therefore, I have come up with two possible options to replace the car. We can take out a home equity loan or cash in my retirement.

The first option leaves us with some additional financial commitments, while the second option takes away our cushion.

"You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living." - Casey Stengel

Since my wife began working, we have been using my father's car as our second car, as we needed it and he doesn't really need to be driving very often with his medical problems. His car is also extremely unreliable and riddled with mechanical problems. In researching solutions to our transportation crisis, we have come up with, I feel, the best possible solution. We applied for the home equity loan this morning. If we are not approved (which would only happen if the company decides I haven't been at my current jobs long enough - everything else checked out well within their parameters for approval), then we will have to use a portion of my retirement savings. We will be buying two cars from the same car dealership, paying cash (or cashier's check at least), and hope that gives us the leverage to get the best possible deal. The only payments will be on the home equity loan, as the cars will be paid in full at purchase. No car payments and two cars in the driveway. My parents will get their car back, but I've already talked to my father about driving. We will know whether or not we are approved for the loan by the end of the week.

Even in this calamity, the Law of Attraction seems to be at work. In late April, we went car shopping, because we knew that, with my wife working, we would need a second car. I fell in love with the Chevrolet HHR that day. We came very close to driving home in one, but I backed out at the last second. When my wife and I discussed it later, I told her that if I decided to leave my job, a car payment would leave me trapped and unable to leave the job. Since then, I have been using visualization and trying to tap into the Law of Attraction to get to the point where I could purchase an HHR. I didn't think it would happen quite this way. A local car dealership has the car I want. I hope they still have it, or can get a similar one if and when the loan is approved, or the retirement money is withdrawn. My wife just wants something that is reliable and gets good gas mileage, and is small but not too small.


Having two reliable vehicles will be a great asset to us. Currently, my father's car randomly slows down and refuses to accelerate or go over 35 MPH at times. Our car had no air conditioning and no heater or defroster fan. Both cars leak oil. My father's car leaks transmission fluid as well. They have both recently been involved in accidents. While our car still looks pretty good, my father's car was ugly before the accident (it's a huge teal Ford Taurus station wagon of mid-90's vintage with handicapped plates and a large yellow ribbon on the rear lift gate) and is even uglier now (with one headlight shattered and a skinned bumper).

My wife and I both think that new vehicles will help to raise our self-esteem and give us better self-images, get us to work and home from work with less frustration, and generally make life smoother, both physically and psychologically. I know that is reading a lot into a car purchase, but sometimes our physical environment determines our mental state to a large degree. It would also enable us to use some of the loan money to take a much needed vacation together, giving us a low-stress weekend of quality time to reconnect and enjoy each other's company. We need a weekend getaway more than you could imagine. It will also allow me to purchase a new game system or maybe even a second home PC so that I can actually check out new games and playtest them, since I am supposed to be doing this for my game store job, so that I can make recommendations to customers. We get sample games to playtest and have the ability to check out games for this purpose. We are expected to do so frequently to keep abreast of all the newest and hottest games on the market, but I have not been able to do so, since my only game system is a badly outdated XBOX and my PC is a few years old. So, I guess that even this is for the best.

"Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville - mighty Casey has struck out."
- Ernest Lawrence Thayer, Casey At the Bat

In other dreadfully depressing news, my team... the team that my mother watched while she rocked me as a baby... the team that my brother followed fervently from the time he was a child... the team whose stadium was the place where I spent many bright days of my early childhood... the team I made a pilgrimage to watch in the days after my brother's death... was eliminated from playoff contention on the final day of baseball season yesterday. The Mets, who were almost considered a lock for the playoffs, suffered one of the worst pennant race collapses in the history of America's game. A team that led the division by 7 games with 12 games remaining in the season, completed a total meltdown and lost the division by a single game on the final day of the season to their rivals, the Phillies yesterday.

"Well, that's baseball. Rags to riches one day and riches to rags the next. But I've been in it thirty-six years and I'm used to it." - Casey Stengel

I am still in shock and saddened. A day after John Maine flirted with the first no hitter in franchise history as late as the 8th inning, and struck out a total of 14 batters, their playoff hopes were obliterated by the Marlins, who scored 7 runs off future Hall-Of-Famer Tom Glavine in a single inning. Even when the Mets are winning, they are still seen as the underdogs, the lovable losers. Those "Amazin's" as Casey Stengel called them, always seem to find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I can definitely identify with them. They are my team.

"If anyone wants me tell them I'm being embalmed." - Casey Stengel